Emma’s Mind Forest
Hello friends, just a little rambling and some life updates.
Oh man oh man. Took my GRE yesterday and hopefully I did okay, I've never been very strong in math but I did prep for about a month. I have been very very
busy and quite stressed trying to prepare this summer to apply to physical therapy school on top of keeping my three group fitness jobs going. I have been overly worried and especially guilty whenever I am not actively working on my application just because it seems like a big big deal. But the thing is, I can always apply next year. It really is not a life or death situation.
Unfortunately, my brain functions with the same urgency of a prey animal in the shadow of a hawk. Consistently, despite my very comfortable, safe, and loving circumstances I carry with me a sense of dread akin to a tribute in The Hunger Games. Just afraid of uncertainty is all. There is doubt in myself in all situations that tells me I will fumble this highly valuable bag if I do not put 1000% of my effort into preventing that. But time and time again, my worry proves itself a waste of my energy. These are my afflictions.
See poem "I worried" on my poetry pinboard. I have it currently as my screensaver on my phone. It is a good reminder, as are these memes, of what direction I am trying to move towards in my mindset about life.
Finally captured the Scissor-Tailed Flycatcher on camera! At the library, I have been stalking these guys for weeks trying to get them to sit still enough for a picture. I love Scissor-Tailed Flycatchers. They are so quick and nimble and have a very cool courtship ritual.
“A ‘sky dance,’ a popular sight along roadsides during spring and early summer, is an elaborate courtship display performed by the male to attract the attention of potential mates. After climbing to about 100 feet in the air, the male makes a series of V-shaped flights. He soars rapidly up through the air and then plunges down in an erratic, zigzag course while uttering a rolling, cackling call. His graceful actions are further accentuated by his long, flowing tail. This performance has been described as ‘an aerial ballet of incomparable grace’ and may be performed all through the summer” (Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation).
So glad I am able to add this species to my birding page. :) What luck!
Very soon, on Tuesday, I will be sharing 5 poems of mine at an Open Mic Event. I have a six minute slot, so I am very excited. Poetry has been an area of my life that allows me to slow down, calm my mind, and remember what is truly important to me even as life makes a great and terrible ruckus around me. I am looking forward to hearing other poets and storytellers and possibly finding community in person with those who share the same interests.
Today I finished up my calm clearing part of the site which I created to meet my own specific needs. There were a few motivating factors for this part of the site. One, I just discovered notion. Two, I like stickies on my laptop but they're kinda irritating sometimes cause I just use them for throwaway stuff. Three, I needed a home for my beloved ambient youtube video collection. I do love, nay—adore— a good ambient background noise. But I feel quite overwhelmed and like I need to quiet down and limit the number of tabs I have open which is why I now have a productive online space that requires just the one tab. This is a great victory.
Hello! Welcome to my Mind Forest. You definitely know me if you've traveled here. This website is a digital garden for all of my pictures, interests, ideas etc to live. Enjoy and have a click around!